Three Poems



I lay on top of the sheets
too broke for AC
wet underwear arm across my forehead
I am in this new predicament
I am doubled constant
my fellow latchkey displaced curiosities
my undone buttons
my honeyed trenches
            what stuck in conversation
what do you want from me
I am unblinking in your car
I used to could touch you
I might could still
I am a balloon of blood
I am contained I am full
I am hungry and blending
    I am permanent
I am existent I am     half a man
half wizard     half slug
a something or other     mixture
I overflow my     container



no stranger to loss
so every success feels big
against such growing deficit
up to our ears in it

so celebrate
the small carrots
less than last year
I follow one fast across the map
my relocation has me surrounded

every angle is a good angle
               but there are shapes
we are attracted to       shapes
we are familiar with

I push myself from it
                       & drift
it     gets smaller
it     in the distance now
it     lasted as long as
it     did

return like whales
whose legs are lost
diminished bones in our midst

I can put up with it

felt loss of self love

my hand hovers over what could be toggled

a command disguised as request

you were not straight with me



do nothing by a river
let its mouth cool kiss you

our pitiful ears
what beauty they do & do not hear

thank god
thank god         become god

charred hillside
a lifecycle

be a being
all is wonder     become wonder


Nathan Wade Carter is a queer, non-binary, grey-a poet, musician, & artist living in Portland, Oregon. His chapbook is ROYGBIV (Ursus Americanus Press 2017). His poetry can be found in Hobart, Fugue, Gramma Poetry, Poor Claudia, The Fem, & others. He is editor and founder of SUSAN / The Journal. He writes and performs songs under the name Purrbot. Find him online at